Musings on Friendships and Honest Communication

Musings on Friendships and Honest Communication

A weird thing about friendships over the years, is that sometimes you reach a point where you no longer relate or activities don’t line up and before you know it you haven’t talked to the person in months. 

Another weird thing is when you experience the opposite – someone who was your PIC in finding the coolest high school party, has gradually evolved into one of your best teachers.

I’m lucky to have a handful of these people. Each day and throughout the day I make my rounds with my people to see how they are and hopefully get them to make me laugh. I’ve lived both near and far from them and thanks to technology, have maintained these relationships over the years. Watching the relationships change and grow can be challenging because sometimes your friends make lame jokes and you have to be upfront and tell them. But if you’re honest, the friendships strengthen and become more fun than you knew existed.

One of my people, Julia, has served as a mirror/best friend for the last 10 years. In our teenage years, the only “mirror” in our friendship was one in which we would put on too much makeup, but as we “grow up” its developed into something different. And despite the fact that she will no longer straighten my hair for me, I’ve kept her around.

Two years ago, we hit a bit of luck when our paths crossed in San Francisco. Both being heavily into yoga and spirituality, we spent a lot of our time in the bay area at workshops. One in which was a workshop on language alchemy with Alejandra Siroka.

Now you see, Julia is a talker and a realist, so I could see her light up at the concept. I was intrigued yes, but I felt this concept of language alchemy called her just as Ayurveda called me.

I watched as her interest in honest communication and deep studies with Alejandra also shifted our relationship. We became more open with each other by saying what we want and how we feel. We also started calling each other out on bullshit in a way that made us both feel good. But the coolest part (and because I’m pretty selfish) is how what she was learning and how she applied it to our conversations allowed my personal development to soar.

While most of our conversations go something like this:

Julia – “Hi!!!”

Mairi – “Tuesday!”

Julia – “What’s your day like?”

Mairi – “Internet and stuff. You?”

There are also times where she has me take a hard look at what I’m going to do with my frustration or indecisiveness. She lets me rant and then helps me decide what I can do to change it. Through this open method of communication, I begin to feel in my depths, the accountability I owe, not to her, but to myself. (What!!) Julia also brings all the compassion into these conversations, making me feel better with my thoughts and reminds me that I should be more compassionate to others even when I’m a Pitta who is always right.

Now, I’m a proud to say that Julia has become Alejandra’s right hand women working with her on a daily basis. (I’m also lucky to reap the benefits of this!) And you too can be just as lucky. Alejandra is hitting the digital stream this month and will be offering a webinar (for free!!) Speaking the Language of the Heart: Three Essential Practices for Authentic Connection with Yourself and Others. This is all going down on October 21st. Click here for more details. 

Ya’ll know how I feel about human connection and this my friends is an excellent tool in improving our connections with others and ourselves. Also watching your relationships with friends get better over time is one of my favorite feelings.

Join me in listening in on October 21st from 8:30-9:45pm (ET). If you can’t make the call, no worries, sign up and you’ll receive a recording straight to your inbox.

Let me know if you have any questions!

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